The Narrative of Kurt & Becky

First things first… I firmly believe that there should NOT be any reason for a child to need to go to the hospital. If I were in charge, I would change that one immediately. Sadly, I am not in charge and children and babies do, in fact, get sick and even some need surgery.

Now then, my baby is one of those who had a health concern and needed surgery. (I am realizing that it feels do good to use the words “had” and “needed” because it means it is all past tense.)

For our child, choosing the right doctor, hospital, and treatment plan was a long process. This situation was very difficult and though it is a cliche we truly were on an emotional roller-coaster.

Fortunately, we found out about the condition so that we could ultimately save his kidney.

While this problem is “fixed” on the left side, the right side is still a concern. We have not forgotten to pray about healing on that side and we hope you continue to pray for its total miraculous healing too (right kidney and ureter).

Here’s a summary of the events surrounding his surgery.

The days before the surgery: We were very nervous. I cleaned the house like a crazy person. I usually do that when I want to channel my feelings. I put myself to work. We went to do all kinds of errands. We stocked up on Peter’s diapers, formula, food, and so on. We packed our bags for the weekend. We tried to think of it as a weekend getaway instead of a hospital stay. It was inevitable to go crazy with worry if I thought about it in the realistic terms. I sat down to write about how I felt a few times. I could only get out one sentence, if that. Then I would go blank. Being on this side of it, I can tell you, I was scared and praying every moment for strength. God heard that and gave me strength. There are times in life when I don’t know what to do…it is when I am in unfamiliar circumstances…and that’s when I know I don’t know anything…because we did not know what would come next. That is when we had to just take action; one little task at a time. Just make some forward motion.

The day before surgery: Carefully listening to the admissions person, the pre-op nurse, the anesthesiologist giving us instructions over the phone. Moving money around to pay the crazy huge fees. Trying to keep my thoughts on caring for my little boy TODAY and NOT WORRYING about tomorrow. Trying not to cry. Remembering all the details, writing down the instructions, talking to Kurt and family about the details. Soaking in my perfect little baby’s every smile, hug, nap, laugh, smell …everything.

The night before surgery: Kurt and I came up with a game plan for feedings and not feedings, we packed the car, set alarm clocks, ate dinner, acted normal. Stayed up too late, prayed, slept horribly. Woke Peter for a diaper change and final bottle.

The morning of surgery: Final things packed, baby swooped up in daddy’s arms still asleep, in car. Left a tad late. Prayed for angels to sit on every bumper and for an additional 25 angels to fly on back bumper to get us there safely and quickly. Baby stared at me the entire FORTY minute drive in zero traffic from HB to UCLA, we arrived on time and checked in. Baby was not hungry, did not cry. Nurses, Doctors, talked to us, looked at Peter. Wrote “YES” on his left side. Gave baby happy loopy juice and carried him away. We walked silently to the elevator and went to the waiting room where we fell into our parent’s arms in sobbing tears.

The waiting: So hard, but man, that’s when we looked around and saw/read/heard our family and friends and knew we were not alone. We felt each prayer. So drained I couldn’t even think of what drink I wanted and food sounded totally unnecessary.

The doctor: Told us everything went well. As good as we could hope and nothing additional was required. He was in recovery and doing great. Breath of relief. But still waiting to see him. One at a time for Kurt and I in the recovery room.

The recovery: Very hard to see anyone you love like that. Pain, terrible physical pain, thirsty, drugged up…truly at their worst. BUT turning point….the problem is gone, the recovery will bring with it healing. All this for the purpose of saving his kidney. It is saved.

The time in the hospital: Nurses are heroes. But it turns out some are better than others. Some were inefficient and ineffective. Others transformed his care. We saw the doctor at least once a day and usually twice. He received great care. He is (as all children are) so resilient. He had a setback which kept us there an extra day. We know now that hospitals serve a great purpose but they are terrible places to be for long.  We were glad to leave.

The return to home: Almost immediately upon our return Kurt and I became physically ill with a stomach bug. Very unpleasant. We called upon family to aid us when I realized I couldn’t care for myself and Peter. My Mom left work and came directly over. It was horrible how we felt. The illness was a combination of  something physical and emotional stress. It was a few days later we both felt better.

The healing: What you CAN see…the incision and the drain site are healing. What you CANNOT see, the abdominal muscles, the ureter, the bladder, the valve are healing. He is feeling better. We are keeping him on the mild diet (often called B.R.A.T.) and that has helped a great deal. Pain medication is now just Tylenol. We are looking forward to enjoying each new day as it brings more physical healing. He is simply amazing. Gosh. We love him so much.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 12th, 2010 at 12:46 and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.